


The Ghost of You

by timeywimeyshenanigans



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Angst, Ends happily though, Gen, You've been warned, no seriously
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-29
Updated: 2013-03-29
Packaged: 2017-12-06 21:44:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,942
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/740486
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/timeywimeyshenanigans/pseuds/timeywimeyshenanigans
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Merlin starts to see Arthur, despite the fact that the king has been dead over a thousand years.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Ghost of You

**Author's Note:**

> This was based off of the song 'Little Talks' by Of Monsters and Men. I heard it and had Merlin feels, and then this happened.

“Merlin.”  
Merlin's eyes snapped open at the sound, the absolutely impossible sound, of his name being called. He sat in silence for several moments, listening for the voice once more, yet nothing came. Content that it had just been his imagination, he settled down once more for some much needed sleep. Unfortunately, as soon as his eyes had closed, he heard, “Merlin, you twat. Where are you?”  
It was certain this time, Merlin was hearing _his_ voice. A voice from long ago, a voice that hadn't been heard for over a millennia, a voice that he had been waiting for. Arthur.  
Not even bothering to change from his Jim-jams or disguise himself, Merlin ran from his house barefoot and filled with nervous energy to the damn lake. He quickly reached the shore line and frantically searched, hopeful but wary, yet there was no sign of the young king coming. Upon finding nothing, he gave a little huff of laughter at himself, that he could fool himself into thinking that Arthur was back. Then he heard it again.  
“Merlin, my patience is beginning to wear thin.”  
It was there, it was definite, almost tangible, it couldn't be just imagined while half asleep, it simply couldn't be. Merlin turned towards the voice, and found a vague figure in the distance. He quickly headed in its direction, but it never appeared to get any closer, until finally he was back at his own home.  
He was going crazy. Okay, he could admit that to himself. It was only a matter of time, and a millennia was much longer than most people could have lasted. Still, it was slightly concerning, to know that your mind was unravelling. It really didn't help when Arthur showed up, dressed in a t-shirt and jeans, inside of his kitchen.  
“Merlin! Finally, took you long enough, now explain these ridiculous devices.”  
“I'm sorry, what?”  
Arthur gave him an impatient look before studying the toaster once more and replying, “I think I made myself perfectly clear. Now is this some sort of sorcery?”  
Merlin could only stare in disbelief at the figure in front of him. He couldn't be here, Arthur wasn't here, was he? Merlin shut his eyes and try to process what was happening, if only for a moment, but when he opened them, Arthur was gone. At this point, Merlin decided that he seriously needed some more sleep, and quickly retreated to his bedroom. 

He was planning on waking up refreshed. He was planning on convincing himself that last night had been nothing but an annoying dream. He was not planning on being rudely aroused by a voice cheerfully yelling, “Merlin, you lazy git, up and at 'em!”  
Looks like Arthur hadn't been a dream. Great. Not only that, but he was currently being dragged out of the warm, comfortable bed by the pompous ass who was enjoying the whole thing far too much.  
With a smug smirk on his face, the king continued to do that annoying speaking thing again, saying, “Come on, Merlin. There's much to discuss and little time to do so.”  
“You're loving this, aren't you? It's your own form of revenge, isn't it?”  
Arthur only relied with another smug smile before disappearing once more. _What the hell?_ Before Merlin could truly assess the state of his mind, he heard a voice call out, “Oh, and before you start to think that you've gone mental, I'm just downstairs in the kitchen, so hurry up!”  
What else could he do but comply? Okay, so he could do a lot of other things, but he headed down to the kitchen anyway, mainly just out of a sickening curiosity.  
Sure enough, Arthur was sitting at the kitchen table, waiting not-so-patiently for Merlin to show up.  
“Ah, finally, we can chat.”  
“Some tea or coffee first, my lord? Maybe I should prepare some breakfast?”  
Arthur gave him a questioning look before saying, “A thousand years, and you're still acting like a servant. No, come on, we really do need to talk. Now sit down already.”  
Merlin gave him a slightly sceptical look, but sat down nonetheless with a bit of a sigh.  
“So, Arthur, are you, well, real?”  
He was asking if a figment of his imagination was real. Oh yes, this was going to go splendidly, wasn't it?  
“Yes. No. In a sense. I'm not a hallucination, if that's what you're implying.”  
Merlin gave him a humourless smile before replying, “Yeah, said every hallucination in the history of existence. 'Oh don't mind me, I'm just the image and voice of a man who has been dead for over a thousand years and shown no evidence of actually coming back, you know, perfectly normal.'”  
“Merlin?”  
“Mmm.”  
“Shut up, will you?”  
“Charming as ever, I see.”  
Arthur gave him a disapproving look that really didn't suit him in the slightest before ignoring Merlin's comment and continuing on.  
“Look, Merlin, you're a sorcerer, right?”  
Merlin rolled his eyes but made no comment, allowing time for Arthur to, eventually, get to his point.s going to just enjoy some time with his king.  
“I'll take that as a yes. See, the thing about sorcerers is that they really are extraordinary, Merlin, and you're no different. Things like live and death, past and future, they don't have the same boundaries for you as they do everyone else. That ambiguity makes it so you can, in essence, talk to the spirit world.”  
“So what you're telling me is that you're a ghost. You could have said something a bit sooner, you know.”  
Arthur gave nothing but a sad smile in return as Merlin pondered over the whole thing silently, sifting through the information and trying to convince himself that this was the truth. Arthur's ghost. It was certainly possible, but, well, he still had some questions.  
“But, um, how? I mean, I haven't done anything in particular to bring you back or weaken the definitions between this reality and the next one, and it's not close to any particular time of year that the boundaries would be weak, so, no offence, but how do you even exist, my lord?”  
Arthur donned one of the most incredibly pompous and suggestive smirks that Merlin had ever seen on him before replying, “Well, you might be able to claim that I'm the physical manifestation of your subconscious desires.”  
Despite the ridiculousness of the notion, Merlin felt his face grow hot nonetheless as he stammered out, “Okay, first of all, what, and second of all, _what_?”  
Arthur's smirk became a smile of genuine amusement upon seeing his friend react like that, but he still managed to clarify after a bit of laughter at Merlin's expense.  
“Okay, sorry, that's not really how it was. It's more like your magic was acting without you being consciously aware of it.”  
Merlin puzzled this over, he _had_ been missing Arthur lately, he wasn't sure why the ache had grown stronger, but it most certainly had. He was at a bit of a loss for words, he hadn't known that he even could be that powerful, let alone without him consciously trying to use his skills. Before he could think of something to say, Arthur leaned in closer and propped himself up on his hand and gave the most ludicrously smug and charming smile he could muster.  
“Still, you must've been missing me something fierce if your subconscious decided to take action. Almost as much as I've been missing you.”  
What? Missing him? Unfortunately, before Merlin could ask anything, Arthur had disappeared. Prat. Merlin silently swore under his breath but the anger quickly dissipated. In reality, he was, in a way, relieved that it turned out Arthur was a spirit rather than a figment, that was certainly better. Wasn't it?  
Still, he had quite a bit of information to process over since his friend had returned, and decided that it would be better if he didn't head out today. Instead, he made himself a cup of tea and started up a fire, hoping that he could drown himself in the warmth of the situation and get enveloped in his thoughts.  
He couldn't. His thoughts were frantic and scattered and emotional, even the comforting presence of the contained, colourful flames did nothing to help him focus. And first he didn't know why it wasn't working, when suddenly the thought struck him: He was alone. Truly alone. That wasn't to say he hadn't been alone before, but eventually, you get used to it. That is, you're used to it until suddenly, you're not alone any more, and that was exactly what had happened to Merlin. He had gotten a taste of not being alone once more, and suddenly being lonely was a problem. The modest house he had gotten a few decades earlier suddenly seemed too large and old, it seemed empty. The silence within its walls was deafeningly loud. Every creak, every snap of the fire, every one of his exhales and inhales could be heard with perfect, overwhelming clarity and he found himself aching for something to cut through the lack of clamour, some true noise.  
He wished for someone else to be there, someone to talk to other than his own whirling, manic thoughts, someone to break the stagnant atmosphere of the house.  
He was not to be disappointed, for just when he thought the silence would break him, a warmth appeared at his side that indicated Arthur was back. The king was leaning on him for comfort and giving him a rather arrogant smile the moment that he had appeared, asking, “Hello again Merlin. Miss me already?”  
Merlin, despite actually having missed him quite a bit, sneered and said simply, “Obviously not. Was there something that you wanted?”  
“Me? No. Actually, I was wondering what you wanted, I mean, I'm probably here for a reason, right?”  
Merlin supposed that he couldn't really deny that line of logic, though he did ponder when Arthur had gotten to the point where he could reasonably debate things of this nature, so he decided it would be best to be truthful.  
“Well, if you must know, I was kind of hoping we could..chat.”  
“Chat? That's all?”  
Merlin shrugged as if to say, 'yes, it that a problem?'. Arthur replied with an actual genuine smile before saying, “Sure thing Merlin, as long as you don't say anything idiotic. In all honesty, I've missed our little talks.”  
And with that, the conversation began. It wasn't anything particularly earth-shattering or illuminating, but it was amazing nonetheless. It had a variety of topics that came from both sides, but it was mostly Merlin doing the talking. Though Arthur would never admit it, the sorcerer was a brilliant weaver of tales, telling the stories of his past, his thousand years, using both words and magic to create the image and make the whole thing come to life. Merlin's eyes shone with excitement and power as he recounted his past and used the sparks of the fire to illustrate his tales.  
Arthur contributed to the conversation through discussing what it was like to be king, to be dead, to have come back to this whole new, strange world. Merlin allowed himself to get lost in the king's words, gaining a new perspective on his situation through Arthur's eyes, and he found it fascinating. He loved this, having someone else to talk to, getting new information, new stories, rather than being stuck with only his own thoughts.  
Eventually it did become a true back-and-forth, them discussing a variety of topics and reminiscing Some of them were sombre topics, but much of the time they ended up laughing until their sides hurt and tears began to stream from their eyes. It took the both several minutes to recover, yet when they did, they lapsed into an easy silence. It was then that Merlin became aware of something; that he hadn't laughed like that in centuries.  
This time the silence was comfortable, in complete contrast to what it used to be before. The fire had died down to embers and the wind blowing up against the house had ceased. The two of them sat content, leaning into each other, lost in their own thoughts. They were like that for about an hour, until a thought struck Merlin and he had to confront Arthur on it.  
“I'm dying, aren't I?”  
Arthur sat up to stare directly at Merlin, concern, but no denial, written on his features.  
“What? Why would you say that?”  
“It makes sense, doesn't it? I mean, I have tried necromancy and various other things before, but failed each time. So to think that I could do it unconsciously seems a bit ridiculous. When you're dying, though, those borders break down, and if you're powerful, you're probably going to be able to see ghosts. Am I wrong?”  
Arthur didn't respond. He didn't need to.  
“So. How long do I have?”  
Arthur gave him a confused look as he asked, “Are you sure you want to know?”  
“Please.”  
“A month on the outside, though you can chose to go sooner. I'm sorry.”  
Merlin gave a small, humourless chuckle.  
“Funny, isn't it? A thousand years of living and I'm still afraid of dying.”  
“As you damn well should be.”  
“What?”  
Merlin had expected a bit more reassurance than that. Wasn't Arthur, as a freaking ghost, supposed to say it turns out all right in the end?  
“Look, Merlin, dying is horrific, to say the least. It's the sudden knowledge that everything you've ever known and everything you could know is gone forever. It's not knowing what the hell is going to come next, if anything comes at all. It's truly the end, the absolute end, and it's excruciating for most people, and terrifying, and just generally bloody awful.”  
Upon seeing Merlin's rather justifiably concerned expression, Arthur felt the need to elaborate.  
“But don't confuse dying with death. Death is rather lovely actually. All that fear and pain and anxiety from dying disappears. The problems that seemed so important during your life just fade away, and you let go of all the anger, the hatred, the stress, none of it matters any longer. Death is the release. Death is the security of knowing that it's not over yet, that there's still something waiting, and it's wonderful. So definitely fear dying, but sure as hell don't be afraid of death.”  
For a few more minutes there was silence as Merlin reflected on Arthur's words until he finally reached a conclusion. He desperately hoped that Arthur was being truthful, otherwise his descison was far from rational.  
“A month, on the outside.”  
“Correct.”  
“But I can go sooner, if I want.”  
“Yes.”  
Merlin shot Arthur a crooked smile as he said, “Well, I certainly don't have any evening plans.”  
Shock was written on Arthur's features as realized what Merlin was saying.  
“What, no, Merlin, you still have time, I mean...”  
“Arthur. Stop. It's all right, it really is. I'm not happy here, I haven't been in awhile. I think I'd really like to see everybody again, especially you, and I mean on the same plane of existence. So why shouldn't I go? In fact, you helped to convince me that this was the right decision.”  
“Well then don't listen to me! Don't listen to a single word! Merlin, you're still alive, and while death isn't bad at all, life is still...”  
“Still what, Arthur?”  
“Well, actually, it's kind of rubbish, really. You sure you don't have a reason to stay? No relatives to contact, no last will and testament to write up, nothing of that nature.”  
“I'm positive.”  
Arthur mulled over this for a moment before giving Merlin a small smile.  
“Okay.”  
“Okay?”  
“Okay.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
The body was found quickly. The man's neighbours had heard his talking to himself and had started to become concerned. Naturally, when the man left, they continued to keep tabs on him. He continued to talk to himself, though it appeared that he was in the midst of an animated conversation. His journey ended at the lake, where he climbed into a small boat, pushed himself off, and lied down. It was at this point that someone had called for an ambulance, and while they managed to retrieve the boat before it went to far out, the man was found dead on arrival. The autopsy later revealed that the man had a malignant brain tumour, a time bomb waiting to go off.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Epilouge  
The light was blinding at first, but it soon faded to reveal an amazing sight; it revealed home. Merlin felt massive relief and joy. He was back where he belonged, back to Camelot, with his king by his side. It was amazing. He looked over to Arthur, who was grinning like a lunatic, and felt the smile spread on his own features.  
“Come here you magical idiot.”  
Arthur pulled Merlin in by his neck with his elbow, mussing up his hair and laughing. Merlin should have been annoyed, but instead he found himself laughing as well. The millennia of heartbreak and loneliness melted in an instant, and he felt carefree. Truly, honestly carefree. He had nothing to hide and nothing to fear. He would get to see everybody soon enough, but for now he was going to just enjoy some time with his king.  
“So, Merlin, are you up for some adventuring? I mean, we have a whole after life to explore now, don't we?”  
That was all in took before they ran off, full of life in a way that they had never been before, exploring an entirely new universe.

**Author's Note:**

> I'M SORRY FOR WRITING THIS.


End file.
